Well its been a while since I have wrote anything on my blog. Honestly I have been trying to figure out everything to write because I have so many prayer warriors and people that were concerned. So let me go back to the beginning of April when I met with my new Oncologist Dr. Rolland Barrett . I just have to put a little nugget in here that he is a fabulous doctor he and his staff are wonderful.
I met with Dr. Barrett and his staff regarding what to do and how to do it. We decided to have robotic partial hysterectomy. There were other options such as chemo and or radiation pills etc... and to be honest I just wanted the cancer out. Yes it was stage 1 and lowest stage you could have but lets be realistic here... how many times does cancer come back in the uterus area if you do radiation or freezing? It comes back in about 85% of all patients and I didn't want that. Neal and I had already been through it all from stage 1 of fertility issues to IVF. I was ready to be DONE I believe we were both ready as a matter of face. So with that being said we scheduled the surgery for April 26th.
After getting everything cleared with work , insurance, time off and making arrangements for my mom to be here to help me I was a little more at peace. I will say in the back of my mind I was a little scared that we were not doing the right thing. I was honestly on the fence but I knew it was the devil. I kept praying and asking God to give me peace that we were doing what we needed to do. Cause in the end I need to and want to be here on earth. There was and is a purpose for me here.
The day before my surgery was horrible I was on a liquid diet and had to take muralx it wasn't that bad but made me hate Gatorade even more lol. I pretty much stayed home all day and prayed and well fasted to be honest just meditating on me , God , Neal and our health and our future.
The next morning we had to be at the hospital at 6am. We got there a few minutes late . I then filled out paper work and was called back. I was a little nervous and hungry was an understatement. I literally lost 6 lbs from Sunday to Tuesday morning. I think it was the fast lol So I was starving all I could think about was eating. My mother and Neal took me to the hospital and was there with me the entire time. My pastor Terry was there the entire time as well. He came in and prayed over me and my doctor and the whole process! It was a very peaceful morning after that. I had no fear or worries and I thank God for giving me that peace.
From what I was told the surgery took about 2.5-3 hours and most of that was positioning. If your not familiar with how I had to lay you are more than welcome to research that but basically I was standing on my head lol.
So after words in recovery I work up and THANK GOD i felt no pain. I just remember being really puffy and bloated from the co2 that they used to in large my tummy to gain access to the uterus. I had to stay in recovery for an hour or so before they moved into my room. I am not really sure what I said or did but I remember my sister, mom, Neal pastor terry, jennifer and I believe that was it was there. I do remember my friend Tammie, Jamie, aunt jj, bammaw, father in law , grandmaw younts and my father coming to visit even if I don't remember everything I do remember who was there. It was so NICE to have everyone come visit, call , facebook and text. I will say I felt the best that I felt in a long time maybe it was the drugs ...
That evening Dr Barrett came and visited and said the surgery went really well and the rest of my results will come back in the next few days and he said just to rest and I could go home in the morning as long as everything checked out by then. So that evening my friend HERA( Heather) made me the most AMAZING meal ever! I was so spoiled I had a huge fillet, potatoes, i believe a green of some sort, crab dip and chips and creme brulee(sp?)!!! It was as amazing as it sounded! YUM Thanks my sweet heather!
So that night was a tad bit interesting. Neal couldn't sleep well at all on the plastic bed lol... And well I had these things on my legs to where I couldn't move at all good and they were there for me not to have blood clots... as soon as I could walk they could come off and that was around 1230am!! Then finally around 530am the catheter was out and I basically was ready to leave! But had to wait for Dr. Rollands rounds. I only needed pain medication around 1230 and 3am so that was good. I literally didn't feel ton of pain only at spots where the incisions were. If you are not familiar with the procedure I have four small incisions where the tools were put in for the surgery and I could really twice or move up and down well I just had to remember to go slow.
So around 9am mom came and picked me up Neal had to go to work. We stopped by Sheets washed the car got a yummy drink and went home and I believe I slept most of the day.
Mom was FABULOUS she did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry I didn't have to do anything. I was on pain meds but did not have to take as much as was expected. I honestly felt that I could get up and do stuff. I believe I even tried lol. Mom left around 9 days out and I was SO sad cause I was moody and not the best person to be around but mother loves me no matter what. I also missed my laundry and house being done cause we all know mothers are the best cleaners. Love you momma! Neal & Alietha took over her duties when she left. Thanks Alietha for all your help, running around , cooking and helping love ya sis!
That's all about the surgery and afterwards in a nut shell. I will be honest I have had my moments where I am really sad and depressed but then I think "WHY" God saved my life by this coming up. No one wants the " C" word. I mean really I am 29 who would have thought? However to me you need to make the best of your life no matter what is going on. I love God and thank Him daily for the blessings he has given me. I am not sure why I got it and had to go this road but that's not for me to know. I just have to keep my head strong and know that God has bigger plans for me and that I may not know the future God already knows it.
I am so at peace with life and the "issues" that I have had. I still love being around babies and kids. I am not bitter as I felt that I would be. I am not jealous over others that are pregnant and or want to be and can be because I have said that I am a child of God and he has not forgotten me.
I have been asked the question " What next" Well here it goes. Neal and I want to be parents with every part of our hearts. We know we now have unlimited options and more than we did before. Besides having a baby biologically I know that we can and will be parents regardless of if I can give birth or not. So here are our options. 1) Surrogacy 2) Adoption. We have prayed and ask God to direct us on which way to go. Right now the cancer, surgery and just getting out lives back to a normal(lol) routine is something we are working on. We are working on each other and our relationship. We are focusing on our business and getting things going for the future. We also would like to eventually build or buy a house. Now that IVF is out of the question for us we are trying to figure out what and which direction to go in. Neal wants our options as having a surrogate and I want to look into adoptions so there for its up in there air. Whatever we decide with God will be the right choice for us. Until then we will enjoy our nieces and nephew and all our other friends kids and most important we will enjoy each other.
To all that read this and have supported and prayed for us and "our little blessing" please keep praying and believing that it will happen cause I have NO DOUBT that it will.
We love you all and Thank you will never be enough...
Love Neal & Elizabeth
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Update
This a blog that I would Never be typing and honestly one that I have been dreading and putting off for days. I wanted to write it Wednesday but I just couldn't. This is going to be the hardest blog to write and honestly probably for most of you to read.
So the last update was the DNC I believe.. We were waiting on the results for the pathology report. Here it goes...
So Neal and I were waiting for the results which seem like they were taking forever!! Monday Morning March 7th 2011 will be a day that I will NEVER forget. I was sitting at work of course wondering if I would get my results or not. It was 3:00pm and my work phone rang and I saw that it was Dr. Deatons which is my fertility doctor (I will be mentioning several doctors so I will refer who they are. My heart stopped for a moment because either this was really good new or news that could change our lives forever. He said that he had several appointments that afternoon so he couldn't see me but he had my results and I could either come in Tuesday or he could share them over the phone with me. I was like "heck no I want them now" So he proceeded to tell me that the pathologist sent my report to wake forest cancer center as well as the cancer center at Mass. Medical Center as well. Right then I felt that I couldn't breath I didn't want him to tell me anything else because I feared what he was going to say. He asked me if I was ok and I said yes please continue. He said that being said. Here is your results. You have Complex Hyperplasia of the Cervix (which I was diagnosed with 5 years ago and we decided to continue with fertility with the hopes that the medication would make it go away) I said ok being that I felt that was still there. He took a deep breath and I knew the next words coming out of his mouth was not good. He started out saying " I never thought it could be this but you also have Stage 1 Endometrial Cancer" My heart stopped and I felt that my heart was ripped out of my chest. Now reading that I am having a hard time but I will continue. I just was shocked. Mind you I was at work and all my wonderful co workers knew I was waiting for this call and when I started crying I believe most of them knew something was up. I didn't know what to say or how to react. I felt well to be honest numb... like I didn't know what to say. All I was thinking is the C word no one wants the C word ever in their life. Dr Deaton was wonderful he said are you are ok? I said I guess being that I didn't know what to say or how to react. So I then asked "What do we do now" He then proceeded to tell me the rest of what the report said which I have a copy but I didn't understand it all but now I do. He told me that I had two options. 1- chemo , wow to think that I would ever have to go through that I was shocked at that and he said there were other hormone therapy's that Neal and I could try. I said whats option two. He said a hysterectomy. I about dropped the phone. Hysterectomy at 29 and I have always wanted to have a child physically on my own and have tried for 6 years to have on and now my options are chemo or hysterectomy. I asked him what we my chances of having child after chemo he said maybe 20% . I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in total shock. So as my doctor and my friend I wanted his opinion and his guidance into what to do next. He said that it was Neal and I mine choice and one that we would have to make together. But if he were my father and Neal and I were 100% sure we would like to adopt that he would tell me to have the hysterectomy because the chances after therapy are slim and cancer is a 95% for sure getting all the cancer out. So after crying more and asking tons of questions I got off the phone and I will balling and still in shock and not knowing what to do. I had all my friends at work there for me and felt really loved and supported. I needed to tell Neal and who wants to hear that news over the phone but I told him of course he was crying I was crying it was just so unexpected. We hung up with just this sense of questions. Then I had to tell my mommy. This was hard because she is my biggest besides Neal fan of the fertility and just a fantastic cheerleader and I know that she feared the C word as much as I did. However she took it way better than I thought. She was strong for me and knew I needed that. She just wants it out and me better. It was hard but she was wonderful. I then told the rest of our families and few of our closest friends. That was hard but everyone was shocked, but dealt well because they love us and support whatever we decide to do.
So on the way home I cried loudly in the car! I just did not understand why me? AGAIN? Why am I hit with this mac truck? Why did I have to have cancer, why did having a child be taken away from me, Why why why?? God and I had a long conversation. I know he didn't give it to me but my wondering was why didn't he prevent ME from having it. I was so selfish at that moment but felt it was ok.
I got home and Neal was laying down and he just held me I was crying he was crying. It was a moment that we never wanted to be faced with. The decision of chemo or hysterectomy. We both wanted it out and knew we could eventually adopt so we decided that I will have a hysterectomy. I NEVER thought I would be saying that. We prayed and Lord knows I prayed more to God cause I didn't want to have a hard heart I didn't want to be bitter at the world, bitter at all my friends that were pregnant, bitter at my friends babies, I am not a bitter person I knew at that moment that God was giving me peace to be a stronger person. I am a fighter and WE Neal and I could do this.
We decided the hysterectomy would be best...
I am very heart broken and sad. God knows my heart he knew that I always wanted to have a child physically. He knew that I wanted to be called mommy and Neal to be called daddy. He knew that I wanted to have a nursery and to do all the things new mommies do. He also knows there is a baby out there that needs Neal and I. He knows that we have so much love to give that any child will be lucky to have us. I still don't understand the whys but that is not for me to understand. I just asked got to heal my hurt and pain that He knows I don't want to change. I want to change for the better.
Some people may wonder how I can just be normal and act like nothing is going on. Because my God is BIGGER THAN the C word. God has given Neal and I the understanding that for such a time as this that He is going to open more doors for us ! Ones that we never imagined. I am not saying that I do not get sad or upset I do I would be lying if I didn't. I also know that I just pray hard when those days come AND I am sure that I will have more to comes.
So where do we go from here... The scary word Oncologist. I know I freaked out when I was told that. However I will not waste mine or your time reading about the first Oncologist that we seen because he was a big fat waste of time. Dr Deaton is going to refer me to one that he knows personally. The other Oncologist I seen was referd to me by Dr Lewis my regular obgyn. So needless to say I will be writing a blog soon about when and where my surgery will be.
This is life changing but not for the worse . I see this as Gods way of letting me have closure from the fertility battle that we have battled for 6 years and now I can honestly say. We tried EVERYTHING. I prayed to God for an answer. I was becoming so exhausted from the emotional, physical , mental roller coaster that we were on. Some women out there say they battled fertility and I understand not getting pregnant when you want to is emotional but I wanna say " sweetie you have no idea " or someone that tried for a little while and had to take clomid or femera and then got pregnant off that it was emotional but I wanna say " You got pregnant didn't you ? You have NO idea" I was begging God please tell us what to do and help me not be bitter. If we are not suppose to continue this battle show me. We I had no idea it would be this and not saying God gave this to me he didn't. I am simply saying that God is allowing me to STOP and have such a peace of mind that I know God could only give us. I know its God cause if I didn't have Jesus in my heart I would such a bitter human right now.
So with all this said... We thank each of you for the prayers, support, talks, encouraging word everything that each of you have done for us we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you guys so much...
Whats next... Adoption or Surrogacy
We are not sure when, where, how but we need to get through this before we can concentrate on adoption or surrogacy. We do know that we want to do that and we are just praying that God directs us where we need to go and how we need to go about it.
I will keep you guys posted! We love you guys and until next blog!
Love the Younts'
So the last update was the DNC I believe.. We were waiting on the results for the pathology report. Here it goes...
So Neal and I were waiting for the results which seem like they were taking forever!! Monday Morning March 7th 2011 will be a day that I will NEVER forget. I was sitting at work of course wondering if I would get my results or not. It was 3:00pm and my work phone rang and I saw that it was Dr. Deatons which is my fertility doctor (I will be mentioning several doctors so I will refer who they are. My heart stopped for a moment because either this was really good new or news that could change our lives forever. He said that he had several appointments that afternoon so he couldn't see me but he had my results and I could either come in Tuesday or he could share them over the phone with me. I was like "heck no I want them now" So he proceeded to tell me that the pathologist sent my report to wake forest cancer center as well as the cancer center at Mass. Medical Center as well. Right then I felt that I couldn't breath I didn't want him to tell me anything else because I feared what he was going to say. He asked me if I was ok and I said yes please continue. He said that being said. Here is your results. You have Complex Hyperplasia of the Cervix (which I was diagnosed with 5 years ago and we decided to continue with fertility with the hopes that the medication would make it go away) I said ok being that I felt that was still there. He took a deep breath and I knew the next words coming out of his mouth was not good. He started out saying " I never thought it could be this but you also have Stage 1 Endometrial Cancer" My heart stopped and I felt that my heart was ripped out of my chest. Now reading that I am having a hard time but I will continue. I just was shocked. Mind you I was at work and all my wonderful co workers knew I was waiting for this call and when I started crying I believe most of them knew something was up. I didn't know what to say or how to react. I felt well to be honest numb... like I didn't know what to say. All I was thinking is the C word no one wants the C word ever in their life. Dr Deaton was wonderful he said are you are ok? I said I guess being that I didn't know what to say or how to react. So I then asked "What do we do now" He then proceeded to tell me the rest of what the report said which I have a copy but I didn't understand it all but now I do. He told me that I had two options. 1- chemo , wow to think that I would ever have to go through that I was shocked at that and he said there were other hormone therapy's that Neal and I could try. I said whats option two. He said a hysterectomy. I about dropped the phone. Hysterectomy at 29 and I have always wanted to have a child physically on my own and have tried for 6 years to have on and now my options are chemo or hysterectomy. I asked him what we my chances of having child after chemo he said maybe 20% . I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in total shock. So as my doctor and my friend I wanted his opinion and his guidance into what to do next. He said that it was Neal and I mine choice and one that we would have to make together. But if he were my father and Neal and I were 100% sure we would like to adopt that he would tell me to have the hysterectomy because the chances after therapy are slim and cancer is a 95% for sure getting all the cancer out. So after crying more and asking tons of questions I got off the phone and I will balling and still in shock and not knowing what to do. I had all my friends at work there for me and felt really loved and supported. I needed to tell Neal and who wants to hear that news over the phone but I told him of course he was crying I was crying it was just so unexpected. We hung up with just this sense of questions. Then I had to tell my mommy. This was hard because she is my biggest besides Neal fan of the fertility and just a fantastic cheerleader and I know that she feared the C word as much as I did. However she took it way better than I thought. She was strong for me and knew I needed that. She just wants it out and me better. It was hard but she was wonderful. I then told the rest of our families and few of our closest friends. That was hard but everyone was shocked, but dealt well because they love us and support whatever we decide to do.
So on the way home I cried loudly in the car! I just did not understand why me? AGAIN? Why am I hit with this mac truck? Why did I have to have cancer, why did having a child be taken away from me, Why why why?? God and I had a long conversation. I know he didn't give it to me but my wondering was why didn't he prevent ME from having it. I was so selfish at that moment but felt it was ok.
I got home and Neal was laying down and he just held me I was crying he was crying. It was a moment that we never wanted to be faced with. The decision of chemo or hysterectomy. We both wanted it out and knew we could eventually adopt so we decided that I will have a hysterectomy. I NEVER thought I would be saying that. We prayed and Lord knows I prayed more to God cause I didn't want to have a hard heart I didn't want to be bitter at the world, bitter at all my friends that were pregnant, bitter at my friends babies, I am not a bitter person I knew at that moment that God was giving me peace to be a stronger person. I am a fighter and WE Neal and I could do this.
We decided the hysterectomy would be best...
I am very heart broken and sad. God knows my heart he knew that I always wanted to have a child physically. He knew that I wanted to be called mommy and Neal to be called daddy. He knew that I wanted to have a nursery and to do all the things new mommies do. He also knows there is a baby out there that needs Neal and I. He knows that we have so much love to give that any child will be lucky to have us. I still don't understand the whys but that is not for me to understand. I just asked got to heal my hurt and pain that He knows I don't want to change. I want to change for the better.
Some people may wonder how I can just be normal and act like nothing is going on. Because my God is BIGGER THAN the C word. God has given Neal and I the understanding that for such a time as this that He is going to open more doors for us ! Ones that we never imagined. I am not saying that I do not get sad or upset I do I would be lying if I didn't. I also know that I just pray hard when those days come AND I am sure that I will have more to comes.
So where do we go from here... The scary word Oncologist. I know I freaked out when I was told that. However I will not waste mine or your time reading about the first Oncologist that we seen because he was a big fat waste of time. Dr Deaton is going to refer me to one that he knows personally. The other Oncologist I seen was referd to me by Dr Lewis my regular obgyn. So needless to say I will be writing a blog soon about when and where my surgery will be.
This is life changing but not for the worse . I see this as Gods way of letting me have closure from the fertility battle that we have battled for 6 years and now I can honestly say. We tried EVERYTHING. I prayed to God for an answer. I was becoming so exhausted from the emotional, physical , mental roller coaster that we were on. Some women out there say they battled fertility and I understand not getting pregnant when you want to is emotional but I wanna say " sweetie you have no idea " or someone that tried for a little while and had to take clomid or femera and then got pregnant off that it was emotional but I wanna say " You got pregnant didn't you ? You have NO idea" I was begging God please tell us what to do and help me not be bitter. If we are not suppose to continue this battle show me. We I had no idea it would be this and not saying God gave this to me he didn't. I am simply saying that God is allowing me to STOP and have such a peace of mind that I know God could only give us. I know its God cause if I didn't have Jesus in my heart I would such a bitter human right now.
So with all this said... We thank each of you for the prayers, support, talks, encouraging word everything that each of you have done for us we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you guys so much...
Whats next... Adoption or Surrogacy
We are not sure when, where, how but we need to get through this before we can concentrate on adoption or surrogacy. We do know that we want to do that and we are just praying that God directs us where we need to go and how we need to go about it.
I will keep you guys posted! We love you guys and until next blog!
Love the Younts'
Friday, March 4, 2011
Keeping you updated...
So today is the day that I was suppose to start another round of IVF well it is not going to happen, lets go back to Monday...
Monday morning Neal and I had to be at Forsyth Hospital at 6:00am for my surgery which most of you know that are reading this was a DNC. Now most DNC are quick and and easy and done in 25 minutes. Well as you all know by now NOTHING goes normal with me. Which as I have been told I am special all my life I am starting to believe that I am more special and so is my unique body or the way it chooses to operate. So I wont go into the details of the surgery you can read online what happens . I will tell you that an epidural is easy as pie. I barley felt him put the needle in but I did feel the medication go in only because 5 seconds later I didn't realize I had a lower body which was kinda strange and weird. Anyway Surgery took 40 min and recovery was over 3 and half hours! I finally got to get up and use the bath room was a fantastic feeling! Anyway Dr. Lewis (which ladies he is by far way hotter than McSteamy on Grays) he said that everything went well and that he sent my lining to the pathologist. Afterwards Neal and I went to meet my nurse sister Alietha and my niece Sarah. They were taking care of me since I had to be watched for 24 hours after the epidural and surgery. We ate then I went home and slept most of the day.
That evening my back and hips were killing me. I was kinda confused as to why but just thought it may have been the epidural side effects. I just took more pain medication and that helped. Tuesday I woke up in sever back and hip pain again. I then called the doctor and she said that Dr. Lewis had to raise the stirrups more (cause he is tall and I am tall) during surgery so there was more pressure on my back and hips. Hence that's where the pain is coming from. She also told me it would be a couple days for my report from the pathologist to come back which that was totally fine.
I finally came back to work on Wednesday and hoping and praying to have answers by Wednesday because we all were wanting to start IVF cycle Friday. Well I got a call from Dr. Lewis office and I thought THANK GOD no more waiting. However it wasn't the call I wanted! Dr. Lewis spoke with the pathologist and she said that there was no way she could get the report back to us by Friday being that she had to send it off to get a second opinion and special die on some of the cells. Now I know what you guys are thinking " What could it be?, Why are they testing for more? Could it be the C word? " There are a million questions that ran through my head that day. Feelings of doubt, frustration, aggravation. The unknown. The nurse at Dr. Lewis office told me that the pathologist just wants to be really through before her diagnosis. So I said OK and immediately called Dr. Deaton my fertility doctors office to speak with Angela. Dr. Deaton is out of the office this week so she is the one that I spoke with. She was aware of what the pathologist said and we had to make the decision that at this time since we do not know the results we had to both agree to stop the IVF for March. I was devastated however I have to make sure that I am OK and healthy enough to carry a baby. End the end that's my ultimate goal here, but how can I carry a baby IF there is anything negative. So no IVF this month.
I had a little break down at work. Most of you don't see me all the time or hang around me enough to know that I am strong, I usually don't show emotion and I go with the punches. I just pray allot and as God to give me the strength to handle anything that comes in our way. I know that God paid the ultimate sacrifice for me when He died on the cross so that I don't have to have pain, suffering. I am not sure why this is having to happen to us and why I have to well it seems always something come up when we are headed into IVF or in the middle of IVF. I don't have those answers. I just pray that God opens my heart and mind to understand the unknown and to know that NO MATTER what comes up He is ALWAYS there. God and I have had some heart to heart talks more this week then before. He knows I am stubborn and I strong and knows how much I can handle. It goes back to that saying" I know God will not give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much"
So here we are in the waiting game again. I will hopefully find out the results next week and as we will go from there. Neal and I have prayed and talked and prayed some more. How we will go about doing things, what we will do next, What are our other options, keeping an open mind and heart to hear Gods word to direct us in the next steps. Until then we will pray and seek God, fill our hearts and mind with positive words, encourage each other, listen to our favorite 94.1 KLove, read The Word.
Please keep us in your prayers as the unknown is the worse but we know that God is our comfort! We love each of you and thank you guys for your constant prayer and standing in the Gap for whatever will come our way!
Love you all
The Younts'
Monday morning Neal and I had to be at Forsyth Hospital at 6:00am for my surgery which most of you know that are reading this was a DNC. Now most DNC are quick and and easy and done in 25 minutes. Well as you all know by now NOTHING goes normal with me. Which as I have been told I am special all my life I am starting to believe that I am more special and so is my unique body or the way it chooses to operate. So I wont go into the details of the surgery you can read online what happens . I will tell you that an epidural is easy as pie. I barley felt him put the needle in but I did feel the medication go in only because 5 seconds later I didn't realize I had a lower body which was kinda strange and weird. Anyway Surgery took 40 min and recovery was over 3 and half hours! I finally got to get up and use the bath room was a fantastic feeling! Anyway Dr. Lewis (which ladies he is by far way hotter than McSteamy on Grays) he said that everything went well and that he sent my lining to the pathologist. Afterwards Neal and I went to meet my nurse sister Alietha and my niece Sarah. They were taking care of me since I had to be watched for 24 hours after the epidural and surgery. We ate then I went home and slept most of the day.
That evening my back and hips were killing me. I was kinda confused as to why but just thought it may have been the epidural side effects. I just took more pain medication and that helped. Tuesday I woke up in sever back and hip pain again. I then called the doctor and she said that Dr. Lewis had to raise the stirrups more (cause he is tall and I am tall) during surgery so there was more pressure on my back and hips. Hence that's where the pain is coming from. She also told me it would be a couple days for my report from the pathologist to come back which that was totally fine.
I finally came back to work on Wednesday and hoping and praying to have answers by Wednesday because we all were wanting to start IVF cycle Friday. Well I got a call from Dr. Lewis office and I thought THANK GOD no more waiting. However it wasn't the call I wanted! Dr. Lewis spoke with the pathologist and she said that there was no way she could get the report back to us by Friday being that she had to send it off to get a second opinion and special die on some of the cells. Now I know what you guys are thinking " What could it be?, Why are they testing for more? Could it be the C word? " There are a million questions that ran through my head that day. Feelings of doubt, frustration, aggravation. The unknown. The nurse at Dr. Lewis office told me that the pathologist just wants to be really through before her diagnosis. So I said OK and immediately called Dr. Deaton my fertility doctors office to speak with Angela. Dr. Deaton is out of the office this week so she is the one that I spoke with. She was aware of what the pathologist said and we had to make the decision that at this time since we do not know the results we had to both agree to stop the IVF for March. I was devastated however I have to make sure that I am OK and healthy enough to carry a baby. End the end that's my ultimate goal here, but how can I carry a baby IF there is anything negative. So no IVF this month.
I had a little break down at work. Most of you don't see me all the time or hang around me enough to know that I am strong, I usually don't show emotion and I go with the punches. I just pray allot and as God to give me the strength to handle anything that comes in our way. I know that God paid the ultimate sacrifice for me when He died on the cross so that I don't have to have pain, suffering. I am not sure why this is having to happen to us and why I have to well it seems always something come up when we are headed into IVF or in the middle of IVF. I don't have those answers. I just pray that God opens my heart and mind to understand the unknown and to know that NO MATTER what comes up He is ALWAYS there. God and I have had some heart to heart talks more this week then before. He knows I am stubborn and I strong and knows how much I can handle. It goes back to that saying" I know God will not give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much"
So here we are in the waiting game again. I will hopefully find out the results next week and as we will go from there. Neal and I have prayed and talked and prayed some more. How we will go about doing things, what we will do next, What are our other options, keeping an open mind and heart to hear Gods word to direct us in the next steps. Until then we will pray and seek God, fill our hearts and mind with positive words, encourage each other, listen to our favorite 94.1 KLove, read The Word.
Please keep us in your prayers as the unknown is the worse but we know that God is our comfort! We love each of you and thank you guys for your constant prayer and standing in the Gap for whatever will come our way!
Love you all
The Younts'
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dusting and a Cleaning...
So just thought that I would give a little update to all my peeps out there... Since my last blog there are no changes. Literally in my situation. My little " Aunt Flo" never came. She is so stubborn! She only wants to make her presence known when she wants to. So the progesterone injections didn't work as Dr. Deaton had wanted to... so here is where we stand.
Since I did not have my period, before starting another round of IVF shots I have to some how shed this lining. Since it didn't happen with the shots I am having to have a DNC done... hence the name Dusting and a Cleaning... I know it sounds crazy but in reality I think this is what I needed to have done all along to get this a fresh healthy lining. I know what you are thinking " Why didn't her doctor just do one prior to the first round of shots" and to be honest I have wondered that myself so I asked. Dr Deaton was hoping that since my lining was thick to begin with that with the IVF shot it would form into a three line healthy lining. Well of course you know my body never does as its suppose to so... that's where we are now.
Dr Deaton is saying this is a fresh start. That my lining will start out thin like it suppose to then once I start taking the IVF shots again it will form a healthy lining and prepare for we pray implantation!
Dr Deaton will be out of the county/state something like that the week that I need to have this done so my OBGYN Dr AJ Lewis from winston will be performing the surgery at Forsyth Medical Center on Feb 28th! Its pretty simple he explained. I go in Friday 2/25 for pre opt appointment with the doctors and the staff to get blood work. Then I go in at 6:15 am Monday morning. Procedure last about 1.5 hours including putting me to sleep then I will be in recovery for an hour or so then on my way home to rest! Should be up and ready to go back to work on Tuesday! Dr Deaton can call the hospital and get the pathology report that afternoon and let me know Tuesday that we are good to go with the shots for March 4! Quick I know! However I am excited to start another round... not necessarily the 1.5 inch injections in my rump but to see how this round will be.
I know some of you are thinking "What if" about the pathology report and trust me we(Neal and I) have thought that too. Here is the bottom line and I will not speak anymore about what if. If there is ANYTHING on that report that is cancerous or will in any way effect me or an embryo I will not proceed with IVF I have told all the doctors that. I said "Cut that crap out, all of it" I know that God has big plans for Neal and I as I have said that over and over ... I also know that whatever happens is Gods will and so for that that is all I am saying about that. I will not rely on the what if just on God! PERIOD.
So... that's basically it. I hope that has caught everyone up to where we are at right now. I will probably update you guys after my surgery let you know what the next steps are!
Please keep us in your prayers as this is still a waiting period and as much as I want to be a mother its in HIS timing not ours.
We love you all!
The Younts'
Since I did not have my period, before starting another round of IVF shots I have to some how shed this lining. Since it didn't happen with the shots I am having to have a DNC done... hence the name Dusting and a Cleaning... I know it sounds crazy but in reality I think this is what I needed to have done all along to get this a fresh healthy lining. I know what you are thinking " Why didn't her doctor just do one prior to the first round of shots" and to be honest I have wondered that myself so I asked. Dr Deaton was hoping that since my lining was thick to begin with that with the IVF shot it would form into a three line healthy lining. Well of course you know my body never does as its suppose to so... that's where we are now.
Dr Deaton is saying this is a fresh start. That my lining will start out thin like it suppose to then once I start taking the IVF shots again it will form a healthy lining and prepare for we pray implantation!
Dr Deaton will be out of the county/state something like that the week that I need to have this done so my OBGYN Dr AJ Lewis from winston will be performing the surgery at Forsyth Medical Center on Feb 28th! Its pretty simple he explained. I go in Friday 2/25 for pre opt appointment with the doctors and the staff to get blood work. Then I go in at 6:15 am Monday morning. Procedure last about 1.5 hours including putting me to sleep then I will be in recovery for an hour or so then on my way home to rest! Should be up and ready to go back to work on Tuesday! Dr Deaton can call the hospital and get the pathology report that afternoon and let me know Tuesday that we are good to go with the shots for March 4! Quick I know! However I am excited to start another round... not necessarily the 1.5 inch injections in my rump but to see how this round will be.
I know some of you are thinking "What if" about the pathology report and trust me we(Neal and I) have thought that too. Here is the bottom line and I will not speak anymore about what if. If there is ANYTHING on that report that is cancerous or will in any way effect me or an embryo I will not proceed with IVF I have told all the doctors that. I said "Cut that crap out, all of it" I know that God has big plans for Neal and I as I have said that over and over ... I also know that whatever happens is Gods will and so for that that is all I am saying about that. I will not rely on the what if just on God! PERIOD.
So... that's basically it. I hope that has caught everyone up to where we are at right now. I will probably update you guys after my surgery let you know what the next steps are!
Please keep us in your prayers as this is still a waiting period and as much as I want to be a mother its in HIS timing not ours.
We love you all!
The Younts'
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Reasons...
I am not sure I included this in the last blog but when Dr Deaton stopped the IVF shots I had follicles grow. Just not big enough. So when he stopped them we have to do something with them and that means a having a period. Since most know that I do not start one on my own I had to have 4 progesterone shots to start. That was two weeks ago. I had to have 2 shots on Thursday and 2 shots that Friday. Dr Deaton said that some women start that day of the shots and some it takes longer. Of course we all know that my body NEVER does what most women's bodies do . I still have not started. Dr Deaton wants to wait til Monday 2/7/2011 to decide what to do if I don't start. However this is where the pain comes in. Sunday night was rough I was having the worse cramps ever I explained them like bricks laying on my uterus. Very painful finally I had to take pain meds to even sleep. Then Monday night was worse and well last night Tuesday was over the top! I was up every 15 t0 20 min not knowing what to do. I woke up made my lunch then thought ok I feel better I laid down. Then I was up in the next 30 min and just didn't understand I had taken 2 Tylenol and nothing was working so I thought I would take a shower and that would make me feel better. Well nope I was wrong. I finally fell asleep at 500 this morning and then my alarm went off at 6 and all I was thinking is how can I function today sitting at a desk with maybe 3 hours of good sleep. So needless to say I stayed home. I needed today to rest. I feel asleep at 8 and woke up at 100 ish and felt wonderful! I am still in pain but just praying it is not near as bad as last night.
What happends if I dont start... well I know but am praying that we dont even have to worry ab out that!
So there you have it. I am not focusing on this pain or letting it stop me from the promises that God has given me. I do realize I need rest and need to relax. I am trying.
Thanks for all your prayers and support. Neal and I are so blessed beyond words! Thank you for always thinking about us and praying for us and with us!
Love you all!!
What happends if I dont start... well I know but am praying that we dont even have to worry ab out that!
So there you have it. I am not focusing on this pain or letting it stop me from the promises that God has given me. I do realize I need rest and need to relax. I am trying.
Thanks for all your prayers and support. Neal and I are so blessed beyond words! Thank you for always thinking about us and praying for us and with us!
Love you all!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Staying Positive...
Today as I sit her and think that today would have been the day to have found out if or IVF had worked, would we have become parents? Would I now be called mommy? And Neal daddy? I am not sad , depressed, frustrated or any of the other feelings that I had felt when I was told to stop the shots. I am at peace. At peace that with every day closer to " motherhood" weather its biologically or not I am at peace because God is the one that makes me feel that way. For so long in my life I have depended on myself and others to make me feel a certain way and no more! I am not saying that I wish things with the first round of IVF shots were not different I would be lying if I said that I am saying as of today 1/31/2011 I am at peace with having to wait to see what our next steps are.
The "roller coaster" ride that IVF is an understatement to say the least. I have ton of emotions towards IVF and other things. I have been up and down in my moods and feelings towards things have been up and down. I at times put on my "big girl" panties and smile and act as if nothing is wrong when if you really know me I was becoming broken. BUT NOT NOW!! I can not and will not become that person that they say so many women in my situation become. Gods will for Neal and I though we may not know but is like I have said before SO MUCH BIGGER and I will stand on my faith.
I do want to touch on one thing. If you read this then you probably have followed me through this journey so far and know that I say how I feel and if you feel different I am more than happy to discuss your feelings. I am not selfish when it comes to my friends and families feelings. I may not agree but I need to be an adult and mature when it comes to certain things. Say for one someone else getting pregnant. That's the touchiest thing that people assume bothers me. Or "Don't tell Lizzy you know she wants a baby and cant get pregnant" or "Lets wait to tell her cause we don't want to upset her" or "Lizzy may get jealous" . Let me set something straight. I am the most giving , loving person to anyone that is pregnant. I don't get jealous or mad because someone else is pregnant and I am not. I am so thankful that God allowed that person to have such a blessing to be able to get pregnant and start a family. Something that I pray for one day. I would never be jealous or mad about someone getting pregnant. Now if that person feels that way I would be very sad for the fact that they wouldn't want me to celebrate the special occasion with them as I know its a blessing from God. Another thing is if they hid it from me and wait to tell me later then I would kinda be upset not for the pregnancy part but because I would never want someone to keep that away from me. It only hurts me more that they didn't feel they could tell me. I want to celebrate with my friends. I want to be there for them. I will tell you since Neal and I have started our journey I think off the top of my head that 18 of my friends and family members have had babies and I have supported all them!
Anyway that was just a little nugget to add in there.
Neal and I are doing well. We are just in a waiting period now waiting for my cycle to start so we can start another round of shots. We are not sure what the next steps are and what my body is going to decide it wants to do but we are waiting.
We are doing stuff to our new little rent cabin and also looking at houses and decided where we want to build to buy. We don't want to make any large financial obligations with not knowing where IVF is going to take us. So we are content and happy in our little home. Neal has been painting downstairs to be able to finally have a living room! And we are going to buy our kitchen table this weekend from you guys know IKEA WOOP WOOP! I love that place!
I would like to just say one other thing. I love my husband. I love him for who he is and who is becoming. Neal is perfect for me. He may not be perfect but he is for me. He just gets me. He has his ways and boy is he stubborn but I love him for that. I love him for supporting me in every way from IVF to shopping habits. I love him for coming to the Lord and giving his life to God. We all are not perfect and make mistakes but with God anything is possible. I know that. Neal is such a passive at times and tender heart. He was raised by such great parents and family and I cant wait for him to become a father to our children so that our children will know the same love that Neal knew growing up . I love him for his unconditional love!
Ok I will stop this rambling ! Just wanted to update!
Love and Peace to all!!
Lizzy
The "roller coaster" ride that IVF is an understatement to say the least. I have ton of emotions towards IVF and other things. I have been up and down in my moods and feelings towards things have been up and down. I at times put on my "big girl" panties and smile and act as if nothing is wrong when if you really know me I was becoming broken. BUT NOT NOW!! I can not and will not become that person that they say so many women in my situation become. Gods will for Neal and I though we may not know but is like I have said before SO MUCH BIGGER and I will stand on my faith.
I do want to touch on one thing. If you read this then you probably have followed me through this journey so far and know that I say how I feel and if you feel different I am more than happy to discuss your feelings. I am not selfish when it comes to my friends and families feelings. I may not agree but I need to be an adult and mature when it comes to certain things. Say for one someone else getting pregnant. That's the touchiest thing that people assume bothers me. Or "Don't tell Lizzy you know she wants a baby and cant get pregnant" or "Lets wait to tell her cause we don't want to upset her" or "Lizzy may get jealous" . Let me set something straight. I am the most giving , loving person to anyone that is pregnant. I don't get jealous or mad because someone else is pregnant and I am not. I am so thankful that God allowed that person to have such a blessing to be able to get pregnant and start a family. Something that I pray for one day. I would never be jealous or mad about someone getting pregnant. Now if that person feels that way I would be very sad for the fact that they wouldn't want me to celebrate the special occasion with them as I know its a blessing from God. Another thing is if they hid it from me and wait to tell me later then I would kinda be upset not for the pregnancy part but because I would never want someone to keep that away from me. It only hurts me more that they didn't feel they could tell me. I want to celebrate with my friends. I want to be there for them. I will tell you since Neal and I have started our journey I think off the top of my head that 18 of my friends and family members have had babies and I have supported all them!
Anyway that was just a little nugget to add in there.
Neal and I are doing well. We are just in a waiting period now waiting for my cycle to start so we can start another round of shots. We are not sure what the next steps are and what my body is going to decide it wants to do but we are waiting.
We are doing stuff to our new little rent cabin and also looking at houses and decided where we want to build to buy. We don't want to make any large financial obligations with not knowing where IVF is going to take us. So we are content and happy in our little home. Neal has been painting downstairs to be able to finally have a living room! And we are going to buy our kitchen table this weekend from you guys know IKEA WOOP WOOP! I love that place!
I would like to just say one other thing. I love my husband. I love him for who he is and who is becoming. Neal is perfect for me. He may not be perfect but he is for me. He just gets me. He has his ways and boy is he stubborn but I love him for that. I love him for supporting me in every way from IVF to shopping habits. I love him for coming to the Lord and giving his life to God. We all are not perfect and make mistakes but with God anything is possible. I know that. Neal is such a passive at times and tender heart. He was raised by such great parents and family and I cant wait for him to become a father to our children so that our children will know the same love that Neal knew growing up . I love him for his unconditional love!
Ok I will stop this rambling ! Just wanted to update!
Love and Peace to all!!
Lizzy
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Bumed out, Sad, Depressed, Discouraged, frustrated...
Those are a few of the words that I felt yesterday 1/17/2011 and today 1/18/2011. Some of those emotions got the best of me. So here we go.
Fridays appointment was ok. There was not much growth in the follicles which kinda stunk but Dr Deaton wanted to up my dosage to 7 unites a night. 4 of Bravelle and 3 Menopur. So that's what I did. I was nervous about taking that much however Dr Deaton is the MD not me. So Friday , Saturday and Sunday I took those dosages. Praying and knowing that God allowed these eggs to grow.
Monday Neal and I go in for our appointment. I liked to Neal to go with me when he can so that he can be full aware of whats actually being said, what we need to do and what our next step is. I was SO EXCITED for my appointment I just knew that they grew! I was also excited cause this was the week the retrieval was suppose to be "conception" In the terms if IVF a VERY important week!! Well God has other plans. I had my blood taken first then Angela proceeded to do the ultrasound. The first thing she measured was my lining which was still thick but not the healthy thick they want for a good transfer. So then she went to my right ovary and there were about 40 follicles there she measured 10 of them and they ranged from 8mm-12mm nothing like they wanted to see and basically the same for the left ovary. I was then kinda bummed because I then had the feeling that the shots were going to stop but didn't say anything just had a feeling and was praying that I was wrong. After that Angela said that she would call me with the blood results cause that ultimately tells them how my body is reacting to the injections.
Well... about 2:15 I got a call and it wasn't from Angela it was from Dr Deaton. Then my heart sank and I knew it wasn't good news. He told me that my situation was complicated and that he felt at this time he wanted to stop all shots and basically have a period to clean and flush everything out and start a fresh shot cycle. I was devastated. I cant think of a better way to explain it but that I was frustrated beyond imagination. You will never know the emotional road a person that goes through this has unless you yourself goes through it. Dr Deaton said it could be multiple reason why my ovaries are not stimulating as they should for ex; lupron injection I take with the other medication can sometimes over power the stimulating medication and he feels that may be a big reason and another is that some bodies react to regular injections different than inter muscular injections. Dr Deaton then said that he doesn't want me to give up. That I just have to give him time and he will get my eggs to stimulate. I feel very comfortable with Dr Deaton and know that God is guiding him every step of the way...
So WHATS NEXT;
So now Dr D wants to shed this lining and also get rid of the follicles that have started to grow. So he ordered me an inter muscular injection for ONE time that will be given to me tomorrow Wed 1/19/2011 at is office by him. In the mean time I am taking progesterone pills until then. This injection will allow me to have a period. And we will start fresh.
I am excited about starting again. Nervous but excited. I have lots of mix emotions and know that this is all according to Gods plan. I once read where Mother Theresa once said" God will not give you too much that you cant handle it, I just wish he didn't trust me so much" Well I can honestly say that's how I feel. I feel like I keep getting broken down piece by piece. I know that sounds horrible but emotionally that's how I feel. I just don't understand at times WHY ME??
I have the best support staff from my husband , my mother and James, church, in laws, sister, family, friends, co workers, I love each of you guys. I have so many prayer warriors out there its wonderful. One of my good friends well actually a couple both texted me yesterday and I will never forget this" God is molding you a special miracle" I will always remember that and that's so true. Its hard for me to for sea that but with God ANYTHING and Everything is possible! I know this. I also know that I need to keep my head up and know that Gods got my back He always has!
So now we just wait. Just like Dr D said "You have got to be one of the most calm, patience, determined , dedicated clients I have" I told him that I usually get what I want and God is showing me here that its in His timing. I am learning a HUGE lesson here.
Thank you to all of you that have prayed and keep praying for Neal and I. I am sure its very frustrating to Neal he just shows it a little different. He is being strong for me and for that I am grateful!
Keep the prayers and thoughts coming!
We love you all!!
Lizzy and Neal
Fridays appointment was ok. There was not much growth in the follicles which kinda stunk but Dr Deaton wanted to up my dosage to 7 unites a night. 4 of Bravelle and 3 Menopur. So that's what I did. I was nervous about taking that much however Dr Deaton is the MD not me. So Friday , Saturday and Sunday I took those dosages. Praying and knowing that God allowed these eggs to grow.
Monday Neal and I go in for our appointment. I liked to Neal to go with me when he can so that he can be full aware of whats actually being said, what we need to do and what our next step is. I was SO EXCITED for my appointment I just knew that they grew! I was also excited cause this was the week the retrieval was suppose to be "conception" In the terms if IVF a VERY important week!! Well God has other plans. I had my blood taken first then Angela proceeded to do the ultrasound. The first thing she measured was my lining which was still thick but not the healthy thick they want for a good transfer. So then she went to my right ovary and there were about 40 follicles there she measured 10 of them and they ranged from 8mm-12mm nothing like they wanted to see and basically the same for the left ovary. I was then kinda bummed because I then had the feeling that the shots were going to stop but didn't say anything just had a feeling and was praying that I was wrong. After that Angela said that she would call me with the blood results cause that ultimately tells them how my body is reacting to the injections.
Well... about 2:15 I got a call and it wasn't from Angela it was from Dr Deaton. Then my heart sank and I knew it wasn't good news. He told me that my situation was complicated and that he felt at this time he wanted to stop all shots and basically have a period to clean and flush everything out and start a fresh shot cycle. I was devastated. I cant think of a better way to explain it but that I was frustrated beyond imagination. You will never know the emotional road a person that goes through this has unless you yourself goes through it. Dr Deaton said it could be multiple reason why my ovaries are not stimulating as they should for ex; lupron injection I take with the other medication can sometimes over power the stimulating medication and he feels that may be a big reason and another is that some bodies react to regular injections different than inter muscular injections. Dr Deaton then said that he doesn't want me to give up. That I just have to give him time and he will get my eggs to stimulate. I feel very comfortable with Dr Deaton and know that God is guiding him every step of the way...
So WHATS NEXT;
So now Dr D wants to shed this lining and also get rid of the follicles that have started to grow. So he ordered me an inter muscular injection for ONE time that will be given to me tomorrow Wed 1/19/2011 at is office by him. In the mean time I am taking progesterone pills until then. This injection will allow me to have a period. And we will start fresh.
I am excited about starting again. Nervous but excited. I have lots of mix emotions and know that this is all according to Gods plan. I once read where Mother Theresa once said" God will not give you too much that you cant handle it, I just wish he didn't trust me so much" Well I can honestly say that's how I feel. I feel like I keep getting broken down piece by piece. I know that sounds horrible but emotionally that's how I feel. I just don't understand at times WHY ME??
I have the best support staff from my husband , my mother and James, church, in laws, sister, family, friends, co workers, I love each of you guys. I have so many prayer warriors out there its wonderful. One of my good friends well actually a couple both texted me yesterday and I will never forget this" God is molding you a special miracle" I will always remember that and that's so true. Its hard for me to for sea that but with God ANYTHING and Everything is possible! I know this. I also know that I need to keep my head up and know that Gods got my back He always has!
So now we just wait. Just like Dr D said "You have got to be one of the most calm, patience, determined , dedicated clients I have" I told him that I usually get what I want and God is showing me here that its in His timing. I am learning a HUGE lesson here.
Thank you to all of you that have prayed and keep praying for Neal and I. I am sure its very frustrating to Neal he just shows it a little different. He is being strong for me and for that I am grateful!
Keep the prayers and thoughts coming!
We love you all!!
Lizzy and Neal
Friday, January 14, 2011
Root Canal WHAT!!!
So just a small update! I had to have an emergency root canal yesterday 1/13/2011! I was having horrible pain and I couldn't sleep. My fear was that it was going to mess my IVF cycle up. Well they treated me as if I was with child gave me meds that if a pregnant lady needed a root canal she could have one.
So after being freaked out and TON of pain I feel a little better! I had an infection where the root was so that's what hurts the most right now. Just waiting for the antibiotic to clear that up and I will feel 100% better!
Thank you Jesus for good insurance and for making me feel at peace about things!
I have another appointment today for an ultrasound and blood work so I will update as soon as I know something!
Love
Lizzy
So after being freaked out and TON of pain I feel a little better! I had an infection where the root was so that's what hurts the most right now. Just waiting for the antibiotic to clear that up and I will feel 100% better!
Thank you Jesus for good insurance and for making me feel at peace about things!
I have another appointment today for an ultrasound and blood work so I will update as soon as I know something!
Love
Lizzy
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Blood Work...
Came back great!
My progesterone levels were 1.0 and he wanted them under 2.5 so that was good. And my estrogen level was 173 and Dr Deaton said that number was good.
They up my dosage to 3 bravelle and 2 menopur same as I started off with. I will do that tonight and tomorrow and go in Friday for another ultrasound and blood work.
We may know day of trigger shot so therefor we will know day of retrieval as well!!!
To be continued...
Love
Elizabeth
My progesterone levels were 1.0 and he wanted them under 2.5 so that was good. And my estrogen level was 173 and Dr Deaton said that number was good.
They up my dosage to 3 bravelle and 2 menopur same as I started off with. I will do that tonight and tomorrow and go in Friday for another ultrasound and blood work.
We may know day of trigger shot so therefor we will know day of retrieval as well!!!
To be continued...
Love
Elizabeth
Shots, Medication, Doctors OH MY!!
So I decided that I would update everyone today about the BIG shots that I started this past Saturday 1/8/2011. As most of you know I have been on Lupron which is a medication (Lupron is a man-made form of a hormone that regulates many processes in the body. Leuprolide overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. It reduces the amount of testosterone in men or estrogen in women.)that I inject every night. I was giving my self 10units. Starting this past Saturday I went down to 5 units.
Saturday I begun
Bravelle (Urofollitropin is a purified form of a hormone called follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). FSH is important in the development of follicles (eggs) that are produced by the ovaries in women),
Menopur )Menotropins are used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) when a woman's ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient. Menotropins are also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization. Likewise, menotropins are used to stimulate the production of sperm in men who have functioning testes but in whom hormonal stimulation is deficient.)
I actually mix both Bravelle and Menopur together and inject using 1CC of water. So I started those and continued with Lupron. I also started taking the baby aspirin which I forgot what that actually does. And am remaining taking my prenatal as I have been for years!
We were actually nervous Saturday night when I was preparing for my mixing and making sure that I knew what I was doing(which I was trained but had kinda forgot) but remained calm. Neal just sat there watching me. I didn't want him to give me the shot for sure. I knew he would but I felt more confident giving it to myself. So after mixing I gave myself the shot. These needles release alto slower than any other medication that I had ever done before so it was a tad bit more tough. All in all I felt good about it. And so far no reaction negative reaction to the medication.
So I took 3 units of bravelle 2 units of menopur and 5 units of lurpon. Up until Tuesday the 11th. I was suppose to go to the doctor on Tuesday but Mother Nature wanted to throw a curve ball and send us some yucky weather. I tried to pray it away but this time it came anyway. So Dr Deaton called and moved my appointment to Wednesday the 12th. And lowered my dosage to 2 units bravelle and 2 units menopur. Since we were not sure how my ovaries were acting to the medication. How much my follicles were developing. So that leads me to my appointment today.
Wed 1/12/2011. I went in today for an ultrasound and blood work. I actually was still bleeding some cause I think my body is totally confused on what its suppose to be doing down there. lol But Angela and Dr Deaton said that it was fine so... its fine. So as Angela was giving me my ultrasound she was taking photos of my uterus and my lining. Let me stop here. I have the MOST stubborn uterus and lining ever! Most normal woman have a thin lining at the beginning of their IVF cycle well not Elizabeth I have a thick lining it seems all the time. Last week my lining was measuring 8.0 and didn't have the healthiness they are looking for. Today I was a 9.1 it was getting thicker and that happens as you stimulate. So.... We need it to be healthy. Anyway I will come back to that I just had to throw that nugget out there. Then she went to my right ovary which has about 30 follicles most were under 5mm there were a couple on the right that were 9mm... then on the left there were about 17 follicles none measured more than 7mm. Our goal is to get about 30 or more mature eggs a mature egg is considered 16mm-19mm. Being that I have only been on the stimulating medication for 4 days that's to be expected. Then I had my blood taken. I am now waiting for that call back so I will blog once I hear from Dr. Deaton as what to do next.
Here the break down. We have several things that could take place with the lining situation etc... This whole IVF cycle the goal is to conceive YES... however we need to make sure I don't hyper stimulate meaning (Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome is a potential side effect of fertility drugs, particularly with gonadotropins taken during an IVF treatment cycle. About 10% of women going through IVF treatment will experience ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. While ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome can occur while taking Clomid and other fertility drugs taken orally, it’s rare.)We wanna make sure that my uterus is ready for transfer. If my body does go into hyper stimulation we will have a mentral cycle and FREEZE all the embryo's. So we will still have the retrieval and the embryologist will still be able to see how many embryos we can get once he has those numbers he will then freeze them and we will wait for a couple months. This is the same if this stubborn lining doesn't get healthy and or shed some. We will go along with the retrieval and just wait. We will most likely have to have a DNC to clean me out and then wait a month and do the transfer. I know all this seems so foreign to you cause it does kinda to me but I know that God has His hands protecting us so whatever is done is his will.
This is just a waiting and lots of patience's ! Lots of prayers and trusting Dr Deaton and his staff that Gods directing them into the direction that is best for Neal and I.
I am not saying this isn't hard. Its the most emotional, mental, physical roller coaster that I have ever been on in my life. I have Jesus in my heart and I know that he gives me the peace that passes all understanding. That no mater what God is there and will give Neal and I the strength we need for this IVF cycle.
So if we have the fresh transfer we are fine with that and if we have to wait a couple months and have frozen transfer we are fine with that as well.
So there you have it. I will update as soon as I know what my blood results are!!
Thanks for your prayers !
Love and God Bless,
Neal and Elizabeth
Saturday I begun
Bravelle (Urofollitropin is a purified form of a hormone called follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). FSH is important in the development of follicles (eggs) that are produced by the ovaries in women),
Menopur )Menotropins are used to stimulate ovulation (the release of an egg) when a woman's ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient. Menotropins are also used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs for in vitro fertilization. Likewise, menotropins are used to stimulate the production of sperm in men who have functioning testes but in whom hormonal stimulation is deficient.)
I actually mix both Bravelle and Menopur together and inject using 1CC of water. So I started those and continued with Lupron. I also started taking the baby aspirin which I forgot what that actually does. And am remaining taking my prenatal as I have been for years!
We were actually nervous Saturday night when I was preparing for my mixing and making sure that I knew what I was doing(which I was trained but had kinda forgot) but remained calm. Neal just sat there watching me. I didn't want him to give me the shot for sure. I knew he would but I felt more confident giving it to myself. So after mixing I gave myself the shot. These needles release alto slower than any other medication that I had ever done before so it was a tad bit more tough. All in all I felt good about it. And so far no reaction negative reaction to the medication.
So I took 3 units of bravelle 2 units of menopur and 5 units of lurpon. Up until Tuesday the 11th. I was suppose to go to the doctor on Tuesday but Mother Nature wanted to throw a curve ball and send us some yucky weather. I tried to pray it away but this time it came anyway. So Dr Deaton called and moved my appointment to Wednesday the 12th. And lowered my dosage to 2 units bravelle and 2 units menopur. Since we were not sure how my ovaries were acting to the medication. How much my follicles were developing. So that leads me to my appointment today.
Wed 1/12/2011. I went in today for an ultrasound and blood work. I actually was still bleeding some cause I think my body is totally confused on what its suppose to be doing down there. lol But Angela and Dr Deaton said that it was fine so... its fine. So as Angela was giving me my ultrasound she was taking photos of my uterus and my lining. Let me stop here. I have the MOST stubborn uterus and lining ever! Most normal woman have a thin lining at the beginning of their IVF cycle well not Elizabeth I have a thick lining it seems all the time. Last week my lining was measuring 8.0 and didn't have the healthiness they are looking for. Today I was a 9.1 it was getting thicker and that happens as you stimulate. So.... We need it to be healthy. Anyway I will come back to that I just had to throw that nugget out there. Then she went to my right ovary which has about 30 follicles most were under 5mm there were a couple on the right that were 9mm... then on the left there were about 17 follicles none measured more than 7mm. Our goal is to get about 30 or more mature eggs a mature egg is considered 16mm-19mm. Being that I have only been on the stimulating medication for 4 days that's to be expected. Then I had my blood taken. I am now waiting for that call back so I will blog once I hear from Dr. Deaton as what to do next.
Here the break down. We have several things that could take place with the lining situation etc... This whole IVF cycle the goal is to conceive YES... however we need to make sure I don't hyper stimulate meaning (Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome is a potential side effect of fertility drugs, particularly with gonadotropins taken during an IVF treatment cycle. About 10% of women going through IVF treatment will experience ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. While ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome can occur while taking Clomid and other fertility drugs taken orally, it’s rare.)We wanna make sure that my uterus is ready for transfer. If my body does go into hyper stimulation we will have a mentral cycle and FREEZE all the embryo's. So we will still have the retrieval and the embryologist will still be able to see how many embryos we can get once he has those numbers he will then freeze them and we will wait for a couple months. This is the same if this stubborn lining doesn't get healthy and or shed some. We will go along with the retrieval and just wait. We will most likely have to have a DNC to clean me out and then wait a month and do the transfer. I know all this seems so foreign to you cause it does kinda to me but I know that God has His hands protecting us so whatever is done is his will.
This is just a waiting and lots of patience's ! Lots of prayers and trusting Dr Deaton and his staff that Gods directing them into the direction that is best for Neal and I.
I am not saying this isn't hard. Its the most emotional, mental, physical roller coaster that I have ever been on in my life. I have Jesus in my heart and I know that he gives me the peace that passes all understanding. That no mater what God is there and will give Neal and I the strength we need for this IVF cycle.
So if we have the fresh transfer we are fine with that and if we have to wait a couple months and have frozen transfer we are fine with that as well.
So there you have it. I will update as soon as I know what my blood results are!!
Thanks for your prayers !
Love and God Bless,
Neal and Elizabeth
ps... the photo above is the medication I have to give myself every night...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I feel like its Christmas again!
Yesterday 1/4/2011 I ordered all my medication!! Which let me tell you. I love MEDCO and I love our Insurance. God sure does work everything out in his timing. If you dont believe me ask me I can tell you multiple stories of how he has worked all this out for Neal and I ! So I knew that I would be getting some boxes the next two days. Craig our mail room deliverly man(such a sweet soul) came to my desk and said I have some boxes for you. I was like YES!! So as I turned around he had 4 boxes and a package. Two of the boxes were large and the others were med and small! All which contained all 9 perscriptions. 1 I got three weeks ago!! So I got everything!! EVERYTHING! Usually 6 medications would be here by next week and 3 by today and they went ahead and overnighted them all!!! WOOO WEE!!! I am so excited!
So let the good times begin! I look forward to sharing with everyone what God is doing!!
Love ya!!
Elizabeth and Neal!!!!
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